Answer Me This!

Answer Me This! Episode 63

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 04:32:00 GMT

What's a 'norge'? A 'Nancy Mitford'? A 'dehydrated Sara Cox'? Why, they are all some super new slangs which are bound to be daubed all over a playground wall near you within a twelvemonth. If you require us to come up with any others for your specific purposes, or if you have questions on any other matter which you would like us to answer in future episodes, email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phone 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or visit our website answermethispodcast.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 62

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:51:00 GMT

It's all undercarriages, undercarriages, undercarriages at Answer Me This! this week, as we ponder the long-term consequences of nad injuries, the racy underwear of Victorian ladies, and ladies widdling outdoors. Olly has to recourse to a children's toy (recommended age range: 6-12 months) just to take his mind off it all. But if you're made of stronger stuff than him, listen to Episode 62 then visit our website www.answermethispodcast.com in order to find out how to send us a question for future contemplation.

Answer Me This! Episode 61

Thu, 3 Jul 2008 04:25:00 GMT

Flipping heck, 2008 is already halfway done, and we've only just fulfilled our New Year's resolution to release Answer Me This! Episode 61! Sadly, Olly didn't stick to his resolution to keep a lid on his Accents of the World, Helen to stop coming out with sordid website names, and Martin the Sound Man to remain silent about his privates. But hey, maybe we'll have more luck in 2009.

Now, have you kept your resolutions to send us QUESTIONS in time for Episode 62? If not, send them without pause: call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Our website answermethispodcast.com also awaits your attentions.

Answer Me This! Episode 60

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 04:19:00 GMT

It's time for Answer Me This! to collect its free bus pass and winter fuel allowance, because it's just turned Sixty Episodes Young. And in the pensioner's discount special meal deal of a podcast, there are such age-appropriate topics as sex toys, filthy songs and the testes of Peter Sissons. Things ain't what they used to be, eh?

So, as we go softly into that good night and dawdle off to Byzantium on our Stannah, please send us a question to ponder by phoning 0208 123 5877, Skypeing answermethis, or emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also take a look at our website answermethispodcast.com, or just type a ridiculous combination of words into Google and you'll probably end up there anyway.

Answer Me This! Episode 59

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 04:01:00 GMT

*@!& our *Â%*s, listeners - this is the first ever episode of Answer Me This! that is 100% swear-free! That's right, no need for that embarrassing 'Explicit' tag in the podcast directories; no need to shove a pair of earmuffs on your dainty grandmother if she's in earshot; no need to wash your brain out with carbolic soap afterwards; because Episode 59 is as clean as a whistle. One of those fresh unused whistles, not a yucky one all full of old saliva, that is.

Anyway we'll be back with some extra-special swears for next week's Episode 60, so please send us YOUR QUESTIONS to answer therein by calling 0208 123 5877, Skype-ing answermethis, or emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. That would be the dog's manbits.

Answer Me This! Episode 58

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 04:26:00 GMT

Have you ever wondered why you don't see so many moustaches around these days? Where the goddess Aphrodite was born? What steroids will do to your tear-ducts? Well, wonder no more - Answer Me This! Episode 58 vanquishes these mysteries and a whole lot more. It's amazing there are even any mysteries left in the world, after such thorough question-answering. But if YOU can think of any that remain, email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phone them to 0208 123 5877, or Skype them to answermethis. And if you can't, just doss around on our website answermethispodcast.com until you come up with some.

Answer Me This! Episode 57

Thu, 5 Jun 2008 04:33:00 GMT

It's Answer Me This! Episode 57 - which is the same number as Heinz claims to have varieties. Duly, this week Helen and Olly are answering similarly wide-ranging questions, from the Gregorian calendar to sperm. That's WIDE, people. Wider-ranging than a really massive and adventurous crab.

If you have a question to submit to the mix, then please email it to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phone it in to 0208 123 5877, Skype it to answermethis, and afterwards have a little look at our website answermethispodcast.com with your proud inquisitive eyes.

Answer Me This! Episode 56

Thu, 29 May 2008 04:01:00 GMT

Cataracts! Chemists! Carmen! Christina Aguilera! Just like everyone else on the planet, we at Answer Me This! can't resist alliteration, so we're upset that this week's other choice topics - rats, baldness, Meat Loaf - don't fit the scheme. But heck, we're going to give Episode 56 a whirl anyway, because it is jam-packed with question-answering fun - as is our website www.answermethispodcast.com, whereupon you can not only read stuff, buy stuff, or do a jigsaw, but also learn how to send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes.

Answer Me This! Episode 55

Thu, 22 May 2008 19:00:00 GMT

This week it's time for some Sordid Revelations at Answer Me This!, as Helen shows off her saucy schoolgirl underpants and Olly admits to an affinity for Celine Dion and orange tracksuits. But luckily not all of Episode 55 is so grotesque; and besides, it's user-generated content, so you only have yourselves to blame! So before you start mithering about our Topman, Elizabeth Hurley and cheek-cleaner-related chatter, hurry along to answermethispodcast.com to find out how to send us YOUR QUESTIONS via email or phone.

Answer Me This! Episode 54

Thu, 15 May 2008 04:07:00 GMT

Oh frabjous day, calloo callay - it's the new series of Answer Me This! And there's the aural equivalent of a feast to be scoffed, for Episode 54 features canapes, biscuits, scones, Mark Curry, Richard Bacon, and then extra-large clothes in which to fit your distended belly. Later, when you're lying helplessly on your back waiting for the indigestion to kick in, why not pay a visit to our website answermethispodcast.com, where you can peruse our back catalogue, buy our sweet Merch, or doss about playing jigsaw puzzles. Then when you're feeling a bit more lively again, please send us YOUR QUESTIONS by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phoning 0208 123 5877, or contacting Skype ID answermethis.

Answer Me This! Episode 53

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 05:29:00 GMT

Dear, sweet listeners, the time has come for us to lay down our microphones and send Answer Me This! for a month's holiday at a silent Buddhist retreat in the Grampians, to offset all that Bloody Talking. But there are 26 noisy minutes of Episode 53 to keep you going - including yappage about depression, Sun-In and Matt Lucas - as well as further question-answering fun on our website www.answermethispodcast.com to tide you over until we return on 14th May.

Meanwhile, please do keep in touch by sending your questions for the new series to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or our Question Line 0208 123 5877/Skype answermethis. Toodles!

Answer Me This! Episode 52

Thu, 3 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

With only one more episode to go before the Answer Me This! team head off to flash their whammers on Spring Break, Episode 52 is full of holiday cheer in the shape of hotels, gap-year travels and Tunbridge Wells. What's the matter with that? It used to be a very popular resort in the Georgian era, we'll have you know! Unfortunately Club 18-30 stopped offering trips there when the brass-rubbing centre shut down in 1992.

Anyway, listeners, don't be a stranger - drop us an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or give us a call on 0208 123 5877/Skype answermethis. And be sure to stop by here this time next week, for Episode 53!

Answer Me This! Episode 51

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:37:00 GMT

Answer us this, listeners:

How do you think you would have turned out if your parents had christened you 'Loser'?
a) some kind of a loser?
b) the opposite of a loser?
c) Michael Winner?

Actually, to be honest, we're not that bothered about your responses; what we really want are your QUESTIONS, which you should send to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or our Question Line 0208 123 5877 (Skype ID 'answermethis'), and we'll wreak our usual mischief with them. Deal? Good.

Answer Me This! Episode 50

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:09:00 GMT

Well strike me down and call me Doris, because it's Episode 50 of Answer Me This! and that is how I'm choosing to celebrate. Not sure why. A cake or some bubbly would have been better.

Anyway, send your bouquets, telegrams and sonnets of congratulation to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or to our Question Line 0208 123 5877 (Skype answermethis); and, while you're at it, send us your questions as well. It'll give me something to read as I lie sprawling on the floor while people shout 'Doris!' at me.

Answer Me This! Episode 49

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 20:50:00 GMT

Well glory be, listeners, it's Episode 49! Which is not only a square number, and therefore mathematically pleasing, but also yet another trove of question-answering delight - scampi'n'lemon Niknaks, musical boobs and Nigella Lawson being just three of the multitudinous delights on offer. And as if that weren't enough to thrill your ears already, there's a cameo appearance from Helen's dad! He's usually quite reclusive, so this is the entertainment equivalent of seeing a hedgehog on a beach.

Anyway, you needn't be as shy as Mr Zaltzman - be bold, be brash, and send YOUR QUESTIONS to our Question Line 0208 123 5877 or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And if you prefer looking at things than listening to them, have a squizz at our proper website answermethispodcast.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 48

Thu, 6 Mar 2008 21:26:00 GMT

It's questions galore yet again at Answer Me This! this week, and quite rightly too, as without questions the whole podcast is word soup. But there are not only questions from our ever-wise listeners, who this week are concerned with such matters as internet romance, laxative mints and self-governing shopping trolleys; we're also tackling some of the fundamental questions of the Noughties, such as "Whatever happened to Yahoo Serious?" and "Why would you marry Ted Bundy?" And if you've got more pithy inquiries to add to this heady mix, please email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or call our Question Line 0208 123 5877 (Skype ID answermethis).

Answer Me This! Episode 47

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Hello there, campers! EPISODE 47 might have a fair number of wrinklies in it - Tina Turner, Sylvester Stallone, Lauren Bacall, Dr Ruth - but it is nevertheless Fun For All The Family as per usual. There're Micro-Machines for the kids, fake tan for the teens, and humorous acronyms for the grown-ups; as well as farts, KFC and board-games that everyone can enjoy.

Furthermore, everyone can enjoy sending us a question! Call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and Bob's your uncle. Unless, like me, your uncle is called Henry.

Answer Me This! Episode 46

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 14:13:00 GMT

How perfectly lovely - tea and biscuits, Eric Morecambe, and forces' sweetheart Vera Lynn, all in one episode of Answer Me This!. And then we go and spoil it all by saying some things stupid about naked Keith Chegwin, voodoo, and Terry Pratchett. The horror.... So while we go and wash our mouths out with soap and water, you can blimmin' well check out our proper website answermethispodcast.com, as well as pose some questions to our Question Line 0208 123 5877 (Skype answermethis) or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Because without your questions, Answer Me This! would be as bare as Cheggers. And nobody wants that again.

Answer Me This! Episode 45

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 13:48:00 GMT

What-ho, listeners! It's been a fairly exciting time at Answer Me This! so far this February, so it's time for us to have a nice relax with some sweets and an X-Factor quiz game. But don't worry, we're still in question-answering hyperdrive, with crying, Anglo-French relations and Justin Timberlake just some of the morsels on this week's agenda. If you've got a query that you'd like answered in a future episode, leave a message on the Question Line by dialling 0208 123 5877 or Skypeing answermethis, or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. It's that sort of thing that puts a pretty smile on our less-than-photogenic faces, people; likewise when you visit our real website answermethispodcast.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 44

Fri, 8 Feb 2008 00:04:00 GMT

Holy mackerel! After only a few thousand pounds-worth of backhanders, several rather amateurish lapdances and a very impassioned letter to the tooth fairy, Answer Me This! has made it into the UK iTunes comedy top 10! But despite now being within sniffing distance of Russell Brand's pirate boots, we're still staying true to our roots with an episode full of public bowel-movements, Vikings and Portuguese sandwiches. Stick to what you know, etc.

Anyway without YOUR QUESTIONS we'd be nowt but pasty-faced tinkers, so keep them coming in to our Question Line 0208 123 5877 (Skype ID answermethis) or to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 43

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:37:00 GMT

Well kids, we've managed to get through 24th January, statistically the most depressing day of the year; so now we've got a two-week reprieve until the next most depressing day of the year, Valentine's Day. If you need a little something to help counteract the heart-shaped Ferrero Rochers and yard-long greetings cards currently demeaning the shops, make haste to listen to Answer Me This! episode 43. It's got Hannibal Lector and bowel-movements, in the face of which romance doesn't stand a chance.

Answer Me This! Episode 42

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 23:23:00 GMT

It's been a pretty busy week at Answer Me This!: not only did Helen and Olly make their first appearance as Telly Pundits, they also polished off three dozen jaffa cakes in under thirty seconds. Multitalented, those kids... Anyway, if YOU've got a tv show that needs pundits, a biscuit mountain that needs ingesting, or a question that needs answering, then you'd better get in touch ASAP via the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 41

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:37:00 GMT

Hurrah hooray, it's the first episode of Answer Me This!of 2008! But we've hardly been idling away during our Christmas break; we managed to find a window in our hectic eating and snoozing schedule to complete the first stage of our scheme for world domination, cracking Luxembourg. Next stop: Vatican City. No doubt the Pope would simply adore a sweary comedy podcast by a pair of Jews.

Best of Answer Me This! 2007, Part II

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 20:28:00 GMT

Wowee, listeners, what a year 2007 has been! Lib Dem leadership contests! Losing the football a whole year early! Coming second from bottom in the Eurovision Song Contest! And Answer Me This! arrived! Relive its passage from birth to foul-mouthed adolescence by listening to the snappily-titled Best of Answer Me This! 2007, part 2, featuring favourite ticklish moments such as Olly's mortification in front of Barry Norman, Helen's fury at being labelled a twat in a hat, and Martin the Sound Man's bawdy joke about Olive Oyl.

Best of Answer Me This! 2007, Part I

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:11:00 GMT

Ho ho ho, friends! That's the sound Santa made when he listened to The Best of Answer Me This! part 1 on the iPod he stole out of his sack of presents; and hopefully you will sound similar when you hear this parade of the funnest moments the first year of Answer Me This! had to offer. So get ready for some old favourites (Orville Lover-Lover! Alan Bennett! Olly's shitty socks!) and don't forget to come back next week for a second helping.

Answer Me This! Episode 40

Thu, 6 Dec 2007 23:06:00 GMT

Santa's beard, Helen and Olly are sure getting into the festive spirit this week, with chitter-chatter about cremation, corporate evil and strippers with hooks in their backs. They also tell Dita von Teese to button it, reach out to extra-terrestrials and offer up an amazing pre-Christmas treat courtesy of super-troubadour Gavin Osborn. If it doesn't bring a little tear to your eye, then your heart is made of Ronseal tins and rusty hammers.

Answer Me This! Episode 39

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:34:00 GMT

Love is all around at Answer Me This! this week, as Helen and Olly receive some lovely letters from their lovely listeners. Aside from basking in the glow of adoration, the pair of swelly-heads help out a young man with his French lessons, advise on how to reject terrible presents, and put everyone right about eunuchs. What. A. Service. And if YOU have questions needing similar treatment, speak them into the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 38

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 22:08:00 GMT

Tripping out on the fumes from the Â1.29 eau de toilette they bought at the corner shop, Helen and Olly pretend to be clever about advanced maths, sage about international politics and literary about literature. Obviously they are on safer ground with McDonald's, Terry Pratchett and fried bread. Luckily, before their eyes melt out of their heads from the crazy-making scented vapours, they launch an Amazing Competition, more details of which can be found on answermethispodcast.com; also be sure to send in questions for future episodes to the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 37

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:22:00 GMT

It's an extra-super-uber-special episode of Answer Me This! this week, as Helen and Olly are joined by if.comeddie-nominated comedy team Pappy's Fun Club. Fancying themselves the finest new question-answerers on the block, Ben, Brendan, Matthew and Tom Pappy get stuck into audience problems ranging from pre-teen love to the Shawshank Redemption, while Helen and Olly sit back and wonder why they are so much more interested in biscuits than light-sabres.
Send YOUR questions for future episodes to Helen and Olly's Question Line 0208 123 5877 or answermethispodcast.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 36

Thu, 8 Nov 2007 21:41:00 GMT

After a mad trolley dash in the new Answer Me This! Superstore, Helen and Olly knuckle down to serious business like bogling with the Royal Guards, squirming at overzealous undercarriage grooming, and wondering how wee Princess Tiaamii will ever get a proper job with a name like that. Hey, it's character-building, right? And if like her in a couple of decades you're in need of some help sorting out that mess your parents made, or just some plain old problem-solving and sage advice, phone in YOUR QUESTIONS to the Answer Me This! Question Line 0208 123 5877, or email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 35

Thu, 1 Nov 2007 20:16:00 GMT

Wooooo! Woooooooooohooooo! It's Hallowe'en, and Answer Me This! is coming over all spooky-like, with such discursive avenues as out-of-body experiences, ghost trains and blood-drinking. But for those of you with sensitive dispositions, there's also stuff about ancient Babylonian maths, log flumes and Office Angels, so no need to be frightened. And don't forget, scaredycats and braveycats alike can send us questions for future episodes by leaving messages on Helen and Olly's Question Line 0208 123 5877 or emailing them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Answer Me This! Episode 34

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:51:00 GMT

It's glamour, glamour, glamour at Answer Me This! this week, as Helen and Martin stumble upon the Sex and the City film set in New York, and Olly gets stuck on a train from Penzance with no dinner. Well, as our beloved Meat Loaf is prone to say, two out of three ain't bad. Other thrills and spills in Episode 34 come in the shape of smiley fruit, mega chocolate biscuits and Helen Mirren's boobs. If you've got questions you'd like to submit to the Helen and Olly treatment, email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a message on the Question Line 0208 123 5877.

Answer Me This! Episode 33

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:25:00 GMT

It's a melodious delight of an episode this week as Olly unleashes his best Tim Buckley impression, Martin the Sound Man drops some scat-singing like the jazz great that he is, and Helen...well, Helen settles for cackling like a witch. She'll never make Christmas number 1 with that. If you want to be part of the Answer Me This! fun, send YOUR QUESTIONS to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or Helen and Olly's Question Line 0208 123 5877, and go and romp around on their real website answermethispodcast.com too.

Answer Me This! Episode 32

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 18:56:00 GMT

It's EPISODE 32 of Answer Me This!, and Olly's rich inner life is bursting out all over; he's pretty much the Ally McBeal of the podcasting world. But when he's not fancying himself to be Calvin Harris or a gladiatorial weapons-salesman, he and Helen get chatty about sandwiches, witchdoctors and Daily Mail ethics, as well as unleashing a Parade of Fact upon the world. If YOU have a question for Helen and Olly to answer in a future episode, email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a message on the Question Line 0208 123 5877.

Answer Me This! Episode 31

Thu, 4 Oct 2007 18:31:00 GMT

Bloated with pizza and self-importance, Helen and Olly launch themselves at such listener-generated topics as how to ask out girls, technorage, and what not to do with cucumbers. To chip in with your own questions for Helen and Olly to answer, phone them in to the Answer Me This! Question Line 0208 123 5877, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.